Monday, March 25, 2013

Travel Sightings


I fly a lot. That is not meant to sound like bragging at all. It’s cool for a little bit and then it becomes routine and sometimes a bit of chore. It is something that gets easier with practice. When preparing for a trip (read: around midnight the night before a red eye flight the next morning) I get my kit ready and think about what to wear. I pack as little as possible to try to utilize only carry-on luggage. (When traveling with a bike, I’m likely to check a bag as I’ll be waiting at the carousel for a bike anyway.) Getting through security quickly is key and indicative of the level and type of traveler a person is. There is also an airport etiquette that should be observed. It makes your life easier and is courteous for everyone else that has to travel with you.

These are some of the ridiculous things I’ve seen while flying or in airports.

The screaming baby: This is not a ridiculous thing but is a prerequisite for any flight longer than two hours. There is always a kid with a boogered up face that screams the whole time. No amount of shushing, treats, or toys will satiate this scream machine. Somehow, despite its compact size, it has the lung capacity of free diver and a siren’s howl. Expect not to sleep or accomplish any work without noise cancelling headphones.

The clown bag at security: This is another less ridiculous thing and an unfortunate semi-common occurrence. People bring a lot of sh*t with them when the travel- not stuff, sh*t- and it all comes out at security. The idea of being a minimalist escapes owners of a clown bag. Somehow they’ve managed to cram a gallon of shampoo into their bag along with a DVD player, PS3, and tool kit and forget to take any of it out before they’re at the scanner. These items are then removed painstakingly slowly while they argue about the size of their pump bottle of body wash. Rules often should not apply to owners of a clown bag, or so they think.  

A man drinking M&Ms: This specimen on a human was spotted in the wild of the Denver International Airport. With a generally disheveled, stressed and dejected air about him, this man was walking through the terminal while drinking peanut M&Ms from a 2lb. bag. If you’re familiar with the character Kevin from The Office, you can picture this better. I wanted to shout Pull yourself together, man! because that’s no way to live or to travel. Don’t let the travel man get you down. Keep your head up and out of a family sized bag of candy.

Public toenail clipping: This is downright dirty. Everyone has to clip their nails but the gate at the airport is not the place or time to do such a thing. And, AND, it is not appropriate to leave the nail clippings on the floor. This violates all rules of airport etiquette and courtesy.

A guy walking through the airport barefoot: This is also dirty although not as much as leaving toenail clippings at the gate. You’re required to remove your shoes at the security check but it’s understood that you’ll retrieve them once passing through the scanner. Maybe he forgot? Apparently the airport doesn’t require shoes for service…

These are just a few things that I’ve seen that are humorous. There are certainly more to come from future travels.

What are some of your crazy or noteworthy travel sightings? 

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